Clarion


The longer I procrastinate, the more a here’s-how-Clarion-was blog entry feels intimidating. Or maybe it’s that we’ve been running about nonstop since John picked me up at the airport, and all the house things have gone wrong since Sunday. ALL the things. Well, except for the fridge delivery today, which is so far so good. Hopefully the movers will show up (unlike the ones yesterday) this evening, and hopefully no one will pass out in the heat.

The dogs LOVE the yard (as do I, and I have so many plans for it.) And Kitty has adjusted already by rubbing his face on every door frame. I am swamped swamped swamped with work at the day job, which I expected and tried to plan for, mentally, but was not successful. And then there’s the lengthy amount of downtime I really wish I had after the intensity of Clarion. (PS: start saving, writer people, so you can go next year. Not a thing to missed if you can hep it. And look at the instructor line-up: Jeffrey Ford, Marjorie Liu, Ted Chiang, Walter Jon Williams, Holly Black and Cassie Clare! Let me just repeat something. JEFFREY FORD!)

But I managed 334 words today, although I barely made it through the first section of my Week 3 Clarion story. Pulling teeth, but I did it. Kij Johnson says 250 words, daily. Writers write, so words must be put on the page. If you feel like you’re cheating, you probably are. And 250 shitty words count, too, and I’d say only 1/2 of my 334 were shitty. That equals win!

I’ve read three stories in Ellen Datlow’s new Supernatural Noir the last few days. My favorite opening stories of an antho yet this year, which is so exciting! Maybe I’ll do a full review of it. Who knows, I could end up pimping it the way I do Eclipse 3, which is still my favorite anthology of all time, given the volume of awesome in it. I tried to force it upon all my Clarion buddies when we were at the Mysterious Galaxy book readings, although I’m not certain I was successful…

Link for the day: a wise blog entry from Amanda Palmer about knowing your audience, playing to your audience, and ultimately, knowing yourself. I 100% agree. Know your work, know what you like to read and write, and write for yourself. Then, know where that kind of thing is published (i.e. read the markets!) and understand (if rejected) that it may not be your writing but your aesthetic that isn’t the editor’s.

More, soon!

The beginning of the 4th week! I’ve meant to blog far more than this, but the weekdays are packed and the weekends have been spent recovering, either from the stress of the week or too much stress relief on Friday nights? Ah, yes. But here I am, more mentally tired than physical, and longing to sit in front of the television and turn my brain off just for an evening.  Or actually eat some different and amazing, food – I have never had such dreadful food in my entire life, and being only 7 months into the vegetarian thing, its somewhat distressing. (And I know I should not complain, but…yes.)

There are four ways (that I know of) to walk the fifteen minutes to class. Here is my favorite:

Walk to Class

I’ve also made it to the beach, which was simply gorgeous.

Sea

I miss John dreadfully, which in a way has helped me to work harder, just to keep from focusing on that. But then he sends me pictures like this:

This week marks the 4th story I’ve written (which makes me very happy – 2 more to go!), but I’ve warned my classmates it might veer more towards torture porn than they are likely comfortable with (myself included). Because I had hit a wall with inspiration after Bear week, I had figured I could write something Kiernan/Lee-esque (of course), since that’s what I enjoy so much. However, then the story veered into a social commentary on class with a main character who clearly has psychopathic and sociopathic tendencies. (And there goes the wider range of market possibilities!) But I have also tried to do this immersion thing within the wider scope of intrusion – as if the other elements weren’t enough of a challenge.

So that will be critiqued tomorrow (and turned in this afternoon, as soon as I find the courage to do so), with all my fingers crossed.

Also, here’s a summary of what I’ve learned so far…at least the things I’ve managed to scribble down. What I’ve actually learned is likely too broad to write down, but here is a taste (and the initials of the instructor it came from):

_____ is a story about ______ who must _____. We will know _____ has succeeded when ______. (EB)

Each character is an aspect of the same person (a common literary structure, insert inner curling shape, like the shell of a snail curling around its core). (EB)

What the character wants is in direct opposition to what the character needs. (EB)

Internal conflict is then driven into crisis, reinforced by external conflict. (EB)

Give antagonist try/fail cycle! (EB)

Only use exclamation points when: The! Galaxy! Is! On! Fire! (EB)

To keep a reader from getting ansty about not enough information: Set up first mystery, set up second mystery, answer first. Set up 3rd mystery, answer second, etc. (EB)

Right person right place wrong time? Wrong person right place right time? Right person wrong place right time? (NKH)

Option: The reader changes throughout the story rather then the main character! (NKH)

David Anthony Durham, our instructor this week, has already said some fantastic things regarding world-building, but I couldn’t find my pen quickly enough to write them down – hopefully that will change in the next few days.

Also, I have learned that reading about unicorns in stories doesn’t work for me, unless the unicorns are Diana Peterfreund’s, and/or have killer tendencies. Or, something else very creative that doesn’t result in Lisa Frank resemblances. Perhaps I just need to admit I’m on Team Zombie and that is that.

Also, in pimp-my-friends, The lovely Brooke Wonders reads for form and theme, and has been teaching me to do so, too – already I feel it’s improved my stories dramatically. Bonus, the equally as lovely Peta Freestone is teaching me how to grow citrus trees and what best I can buy and plant in our new house, upon the end of Clarion.

Tonight, David Anthony Durham’s Mysterious Galaxy reading. This weekend: SD Comic-Con

I’m alive! Probably more than my seventeen other classmates, as we have four stories to macro/micro critique tonight, and since the one I turned in was the longest, (meaning one less for me to read), I’ll probably get to bed the soonest.

Today was rough for me – the first day when wow-I-can’t-write-shit-like-that-other-guy-and-that-one-too sank in far too deeply (I’d been resisting it quite well up until now) and then stuck, and I couldn’t scrape it off for the life of me. Plus, this is the longest I’ve been away from John for nearly 3 years, well, since we’ve met, and I miss the dogs and cat terribly. But not the heat. Right now, it’s probably 65 degrees here. Just amazing.

The backspace key on my laptop squeaks.

I have written 2 out of the 6 stories I am planning to write while I’m here. The first needs a great deal more work, although I had a blast with it, and the one I turned in today is far more complete, while quite ambitious, and I’m greatly insecure as well as proud of it – we’ll see tomorrow what my classmates have to say.

This week is John Scalzi, which is a completely different vibe than Nina Kiriki Hoffman; it’s a lovely contrast, actually, which gives an interesting variety and keeps us on our toes.

I grow empty, very quickly; I must find new ways of nourishing the well. The new Sirenia Digest (Caitlyn R. Kiernan) came in my email, though, just an hour ago, and I think I shall immerse myself in that the rest of the night.

This is exactly where I want to be.

I must take some pictures. But for now, Skype with the Husband! More soon.

I’m too keyed up to write much of anything. I’ve been pretty much useless at work, and useless at home, pacing about and counting out every…moment…that…ticks…by. Plus, there’s the acquisition of our first house, and all the tedious little details that must be taken care of before it’s OURS. Soon, hopefully. As soon as I come back to real life in August.

This is what my next six weeks will look like:

8:00am – 9:00am Breakfast
9:00am – 1:00pm Class (typically 3-4 stories are discussed)
1:00pm – 2:00pm Lunch
3:00pm – 5:00pm Individual Instructor/Author conferences
6:00pm  – deadline to distribute following day stories
6:00pm – 7:00pm Dinner
Evening: Reading and critiquing following day’s stories / writing / additional activities organized by Instructors or Students

Perfect.

I’ve made myself a list of topics I eventually want to write stories about, as well as happening to find this week 4k words of a post-apocalypse/alien tale that I hadn’t been expecting. We’ll see what happens with that.

In the meantime, I came across an old blogpost of Neil Gaiman’s on free speech, specifically addressing a topic that most people shrink away from. Eloquent and something worth thinking about, especially if you want to be challenged on what you think and why.

And I’m off!

The new SF short is going by the title of “Sarscon 8,” for now. I’d intended it to be a Lovecraft ode, but it’s turned out more of a Caitlín R. Kiernan ode, which is more my preference (and perhaps renders it unsuitable for the market I’d written it for). It’s been an unusual story for me – typically, I start a story with the relationships between characters, the emotion one (or more) feels in a certain environment/after an event, and the story unfolds from there. But “Sarscon 8″ has been different. It started with the alien, the reactions to its behavior, the off-world life, and now that I’ve got it all written down and mostly fleshed out, I’m stuck on the main relationship. The soul, the core of the story, isn’t there. And it’s driving me mad, because I can’t force it to work. I can’t hammer something out to fill in the space because it’s not a hammering out kind of thing, the way you can toss in some worldbuilding and/or plot elements and clear them up later.

Without its core, I’m not certain it’s worth pushing out to my crit partners, because they’ll miss the heart of the story, too. It’s a bit of a bummer, to know the best thing to do is wait and let it come to me when it’s ready. On the other hand, could a new perspective help? Help me find the ending that’s not quite there, or the emotional core that I normally get from the beginning?

And then there’s consistency factor. I read a phenomenal story today in the Lightspeed slush that made me think yes yes yes yes for nearly 3/4ths of it, and then I thought what? What just happened? To be so very close, and then just drop the reader. It’s tricky, this emotional game played by the writer, the balance he or she creates for the reader in the unfolding of events. And that’s the reason why I love short stories so much – the reader expects an experience in the brief amount of words, and when they’re really taken for a ride, how exciting that is!

Which leads me to…30 days until Clarion!

We have a private blog for the Clarion class of 2011, where we’ve gotten to know a little more about each other as well as the instructors. Karen Joy Fowler, current president of the Clarion Foundation (and author of the unbelievable story “The Pelican Bar” in the tremendous anthology Eclipse 3, which every short story lover should own; it happens to be my favorite of the Eclipse anthos, too, by the way) has written several motivating and encouraging posts, including one with the following paragraph:

You have to find ways to protect the joy of writing, those things that first gave you pleasure and made you want to do it again. Anytime you feel yourself losing that, it’s worth taking a long hard look at what can be done. Because something must be done! I don’t mean that every day you love it. But the overall trend should be toward continuing to feel the things that made you want to be a writer in the first place.

And so I’ll brainstorm “Sarscon 8″ a while longer.

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